Listen up

So the post about bike tweaks has really ruffled some peoples bar turning, bike leaning feathers. First off let me get this straight, if your name is Ryan Howard, Alex Reveles, or Kyle Strait, feel free to go on and be stylish. If you name starts with gold and ends with man, stick to doing airwalks and grinding your face off the ground. I know I made a rash generalization of something that was born to wow crowds, I’m sorry people I was hopped up on Budweiser. Hold it right there, I still think that this shit is offering a beer to the horse you just kicked to death, and by that I mean it sucks cause the horse cant enjoy the beer cause you kicked him to death. By this I mean, this shit used to be somewhere on the level of Coors Light cool(I’ll drink it if its there) to me but now its chillin with B&J Wine Coolers, and bottles of UV Naturally Flavored Vodka(I’ll drink it if I’m blacked out and tryin to score with the fattest chick on Junior Varsity color guard). I’ve had enough of this madness, someone please make it stop. No one wants to see grown men struggling to look stylish, stick to the foam pit and the checks will keep coming.
Kids, just because I think unturndowns are dumb is the perfect reason for you to never do them. Have some creativity, learn something cool instead of breaking my heart, I only have one, good thing its stone. Fair and Balanced up in this bitch.

P.s. Unlike litter mag, I’m not April Foolsin you, DFS.